Have you noticed a rise in weddings where the bride and groom ask for money instead of gifts? Many people are and it’s causing quite the controversy amongst the modern family.
While the bride and groom see it as ‘not a big deal’ as all of their friends are doing it – the older family members tend to have a stronger opinion, seeing it as in ‘bad taste’ and ‘not the thing to do’.
So is asking for money at a wedding bad? We look at the pro’s and con’s of giving money as a wedding gift.
Why do people ask for money as a wedding gift?
People are normally living together before marriage these days. This means that a couple has likely ‘played house’ and in turn do not need any more items to fill their home.
In the past, a wedding was a time to help couples build their family home. It meant giving gifts of practicality to help the bride and groom financially on their start of the ‘till death do us part’ motto.
Now days, the home tends to be well setup prior to the wedding. Like many first home owners, these homes tend to be smaller in size and lacking storage, thus giving a gift may not only be unwanted, it may not physically make sense in the couples house.
How to ask for money at a wedding
So if you have decided that money is your ideal gift, good on you – it’s not that big of a deal these days. The trick to asking for money though is to ensure you word it correctly and know your audience.
Don’t simply say ‘We would like money as a wedding gift’ – look to write the same thing but in a more creative way. Many people use a poem to ease the awkwardness.
Try Google – search for: ‘Wishing Well Poem’ or ‘Wishing Well Ideas’ to find some pre-written limericks or poems. This can be kind of cheesy but has proven time and again to ease the burden of asking for money.
People like to know what the money will be used for
Tell people exactly where the money they contribute is going, for example:
- We are trying desperately to buy a house
- The money will be used on our honeymoon
- We are looking to buy our own luxury airplane
When people know where the money is going, they tend to feel a lot better about the act of giving cash at a wedding. It shows the guests that the money they are giving will not only benefit you for a set reason, but it will also not be squandered away on meaningless items/costs.
A guests biggest fear about giving cash is twofold, one that they don’t know what an appropriate amount to give is – followed by been scared you will use the money on something pointless instead of a treasured gift. Look to calm these fears in your money request in the invite.
Commission a piece of artwork
A great way to ask for money at a wedding is to commission a basic/inexpensive artwork to be made by an artist. This means you can tell people they can contribute towards the artwork and have the painting actually visible on the wedding night. The idea here is to not actually end up with a piece of expensive art, but instead make a profit on the painting while making people feel better about their donation.
Just be careful the painting doesn’t look horrible – no one wants to chip in for a finger painting by your nephew.
Have a small gift registry for delicate guests
Sometimes there is no way around offending an Uncle, Aunty or Grandparent. If this is the case, simply setup a basic gift registry with a few items they can afford and include that instead of a request for money.
It will save you time, effort and the ear chewing you will get on the wedding night after they have a few wines and have to explain why they know you wanted cash, but still chose to give you a toaster or George Foreman grill.