How to avoid breaking up over money
A lot of couples break up over money. Several reports point to money issues as the number one factor in divorces. It’s easy to understand why; money is a major factor of stress in everyday life, and that will translate into your relationship.
The solution to the issue has a lot to do with communication, which is harder than it sounds when money a topic a lot of people find very difficult to talk about.
So how can you make your life a lot easier?
A couple of tips are below:
Work it out, early
Often we spend and save in much the same way our parents do. Money behaviours are learned, and while we can improve our behaviours, it’s important to know what your partner is like about finances. No behaviour is right or wrong, it’s all about being compatible. If you feel panic-stricken when you have a credit card debt, and your partner lives off credit, that might be an issue in the relationship. Work it out early, and compromise and communication might be all you need to get compatible.
Express, not repress
If there is a money issue and it’s stressing you out, you have to discuss it with your partner. Working full-time and feeling like your partner is spending too much money? Discuss it early on, or you’ll end in a screaming match about how your partner could waste your hard-earned money on a stick of gum. Get it out in the open before you’re at breaking point over the issue.
We’re all equals here
First and foremost, recognition from both partners that their contribution is equal is crucial in a good relationship. Whether you’re the breadwinner or looking after the kids, or both working, acknowledge that everyone is contributing an equal amount, and that power should have nothing to do with how much money you’ve added to the bank account this month.
Set your goals
Everyone loves talking about their hopes and aspirations with their partners. It’s probably one of the main reasons you’re together; you both want to own your own home, or be able to say you’ve visited every continent by the time you’re thirty. Once you’ve decided on your common goals work out how you can get there.
Be honest about the budget
Develop your budget and savings strategy together to achieve what you both want (see above). Stick to it. If you can’t, let your partner know in advance so they don’t go to the ATM only to find all the money is gone. Revise your budget often and discuss what you can improve on over the next couple of months.
To share or not to share
It’s a big conversation, and one that needs to happen at some point of any serious relationship. If you’re fighting all the time about money, then maybe you should think about keeping separate bank accounts. You can have a joint bank account that both partners contribute to, which covers rent, food and bills. Then you can have a separate account for your discretionary spending and saving.
If separate bank accounts make you feel more comfortable, then you should think about having them.
Ignore the smug marriage gurus that rattle on incessantly about shared bank accounts being an issue of trust. If you feel like you’re giving a weekly handout to your partner, think seriously about splitting up the finances.
How do you and your partner deal with financial issues?
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