Financial do’s and financial don’ts for newlyweds

Wedding bells are ringing, the sun is shining and stress will probably be your closest companion for the next ten months. Getting married is a wonderful thing (I should know, I’ve seen 27 Dresses), but unless you’re the next Zen master, it’s also deeply stressful.

Think about the stress of inviting people to your birthday party and magnify that by a million. Amidst the questions about the guest list, the dress, the venue and the food, there are a couple of finance questions that will need to be addressed in that time. Here are a couple of dos and don’ts to make the happily every after easier.

Do… discuss financial goals

A gold band on your finger isn’t going to make you feel better when you realise your partner has ideological issues with superannuation when you’ve been voluntarily contributing since you were 15. Money is an intimate thing, and being on the same page as your partner will end up being important.

Discussing your financial goals doesn’t have to be minute, just enough to understand where each other are coming from. Do you want to be debt free? Would you prefer to spend your money on travelling a couple a months every year, or on putting together a deposit for a house? Neither is wrong, but they’re not necessarily compatible financial goals. Once you have your goals in place, you can work out how you can achieve them together.

Do… discuss how much you were willing to spend

Weddings can be an expensive undertaking, so it’s a good idea to understand how much each partner is willing to spend on them. It’s amazing how divergent your ideas can be. When your idea of a perfect wedding is your ten best friends and a beach, her idea might be of her 300 family members and a cruise ship. Work it out before the money disappears to avoid disappointment.

Do… change your next of kin

It never ceases to amaze me how often a famous person will die, leaving a vague, outdated or non-existent will. The scrabble over the resulting wealth often overshadows the person who’s passed, so it pays to keep your records up to date. If you are about to get married, make sure you’ve reflected your new state of wedded bliss in official documents. One only need think of Stieg Larsson to see the catastrophe that can result should you not make those changes.

Don’t… assume bank accounts will be wedded

Some people are financially unified, sharing all income and expenditure, long before they’re married. Others are entirely separate long after the blessed occasion. Don’t assume that people will automatically want to share their bank account or income. Discuss what will happen should you want to start a family and there will be only one income. Talk about who will pay for what should you retain your own bank accounts. Discuss your super arrangements, and how you will finance your retirement. Now is the time to talk about these things, so it doesn’t bite you in the long run.

Don’t… hide your finances

Especially debt. You may have thought it was okay to gloss things over when you were dating, but frank honesty about your finances is imperative when your wagon is about to be hitched to theirs. Coming clean before the big day will make your life a whole lot easier in the long run.

What about finances do you think is important to discuss before you get married?

Related Posts

• How to avoid breaking up over money

  A lot of couples break up over money. Several reports point to money issues as the number one factor in divorces. It’s easy to understand why; money is a major factor of stress in everyday life, and that will translate into your relationship. The solution to the issue has a lot to do with communication, [...]

• The Big Lie: Financial Infidelity

  I tend to tell the odd white lie about my finances. Sitting at the pub, I’ll keep to myself that I just spent my last five bucks on a glass of red. Or I’ll exaggerate my amazing saving tendencies. But lying to a partner about the state of my finances seems like a big bridge to cross. CNN Money ran an article recently about financial infidelity and the toll it can take. Here are some thought

• The Financial Game Plan

  Money stress is a big downer. It’s easy to get worked up about our finances, to the point where we yo-yo. You’d recognise it once you saw it; yo-yoing between complete avoidance of all financial discussion or work and a frenzied schedule of strict financial control. A game plan of how to approach your finances, what to check, when to check it, how much is too much, is a big help in getting back some financial control. Here are a couple of suggestions.

• How to self diagnose your financial issues

  We’ve all learnt to do the cancer checks, understand the calorie count of an item and regulate our own exercise. Those of us who have our vices have learnt whether or not were addicted to our poison by answering some of those enlightening questions- Do you light up a cigarette as soon as you wake [...]

• 5 ways to hide money from your partner

  Hiding money from your partner is a complex business. Indeed, aspects of the practice might better be addressed by a relationship counselor, instead of a personal finance blogger whose most intense relationship is with her iPhone. Why you are trying to hide money from your partner is really none of my business. Sometimes it’s to [...]