5 Stupid Money Saving Tips You Shouldn’t Do
I hope you all realize what a warrior I am. Bravely I go into the cyber breach that is the world of personal finance blogs. There is some genuine insanity that is circulating around the cyber world.
So I, Cyber SuperWoman Francesca, venture forth and collect some of the more left-field tips online as a warning to you all.
Here’s what not to do.
The best way to get a free umbrella?
If any of you have been in Sydney over the last few days, you’d know how the promise of summery days was cruelly torn away from us. So, in a pinch for an umbrella?
Web Wise Words
Head to your local library. Not because it’s warm and dry in there. Not because it’s a place of learning in which to spend a couple of hours. No! Because you just saunter up to the front desk and say you left your umbrella there. Say it was a black one, that’s your best chance. Select the one with the best handle and off you trot.
NB: When discussing this with loved ones and peers, it was suggested that train stations and cinemas were also excellent umbrella resting places.
The best way to whiten your teeth?
We all hate the companies that manage to make so much money about our neuroses. Back in the day, all you had to worry about was whether you had teeth. Then we started worrying about the shape and straightness. Now we’re paranoid about the colour. All of a sudden, we’re all expected to line up for the whitening gel, toothpaste and dental procedures.
Wise Web Words
Don’t worry about all the products, there is a cheaper way. Peroxide. That’s right, peroxide.
The mind boggles.
The best way to save on food?
I cannot believe I actually found this on a website. I sincerely hope it was suggested in a satirical tone.
Wise Web Words
Dog food. Dog food was suggested as the best means to save money on food. The dry kind allegedly tastes better; so steer clear of the canned stuff.
Apparently it’s healthier than 95% of the diets in the USA. I cannot vouch for that being empirically proven.
The best way to save on gifts at Christmas time?
I’ve just gotten that terrified feeling at the pit of my stomach. I know it’s approaching, and I know I don’t have the money to deal with it. Christmas. Why don’t I prepare more? Why don’t I alienate all my friends in mid-December and then apologise mid-January? Fear no more people. The solution is here.
Wise Web Words
Lie. That’s right. It might be a time of love, kindness and faith, but if you want to keep your accounts looking healthy at the most dangerous time of the year, all you can do is let loose a few white ones. Apparently you should tell everyone you’re going away over Christmas, and buy gifts in the post-Christmas sales.
I would suggest you don’t leave the house over this time. Danger of getting sprung is high, and carries with potentially catastrophic consequences.
The best way to brighten up your home
Kids managed to track dirt the whole way through the house? Can’t take the tacky once-was-white-now-is-yellow covering on your floor? No need to fear, and no need to spend money.
Wise Web Words
Cover your floor with carpet samples. Red, blue, white, peach. No matter the colour, no matter the pattern. A good look, by anyone’s standards.
What’s the stupidest money saving tips you have ever heard?
The above article is a parody piece, tell us the stupidest ideas you have ever heard – we are sure there are many!
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